Formerly "Dave's Blog About Movies and Such"

Sunday, February 9, 2014

And Here's a Gritty Reboot of Bio-Dome

Alright, so it looks like I’ve now got something of a tradition on my hands. Last Sunday I finished the second draft of the novel I’ve been working on since forever (hooray for me); and though I’m nowhere near having a readable draft, I decided to celebrate, regardless. So I gave myself a break this week…by writing a gritty reboot of Bio-Dome. And as with the reboot of Deuce Bigalow I wrote after finishing the first draft of my novel, I’ve never actually seen Bio-Dome. In fact, I know next-to-nothing about the movie other than Pauly Shore + Stephen Baldwin + Bio-Dome + drugs = shenanigans. Even my research on the movie extended no further than watching the trailer and looking up character names. Also, I don’t know anything about Bio-Domes or science or drugs or…really, anything mentioned in the screenplay I wrote. Except masturbation. I’m really good at that.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Bio-Dome—my gritty reboot of it. So, yeah, this screenplay is the result of nothing but a self-imposed week-long deadline, shit-tons of caffeine, and one night of drunk-writing. With that mind, here you go. Also, you’re welcome.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Thursday, February 6, 2014

I Contradict Myself Again

Seeing as I've spent most of my movie-watching time the last few years scouring the depths of frequently forgettable exploitation films, I decided a few months ago to finally catch up on my director blind spots. I haven't written much about it, but I've been all kinds of happy about playing cinefile catch-up. I've discovered that I'm really into the works of Almodovar, Fassbinder, and Pasolini. So far, success. But this week I watched my first Hal Hartley movie, Simple Men. And well...

Yeah, I'm not sure how I feel about it. The sort of deadpan absurdity he traffics in would've been right up my twenty-something-self's alley. But, I don't know. I guess I'm just not much into that kind of thing anymore. I tried, but just couldn't get into this movie. I wanted to like it, but everything left me cold.

Except for the Sonic Youth dance sequence. Which is probably a shock to my readers, seeing as I've stated my distaste for both impromptu dance sequences and over-the-top cool. Yet, after the movie ended, I couldn't wait to find the clip on youtube—you know, just to remind myself why it didn't work for me, because, you know, like, it totally didn't work for me; I just had to watch it again to reinforce why it was I didn't like it. Well, I couldn't remember why that was after the second viewing, so I watched it again. And again. And again. And again. After about the thirty-seventh time, I decided to face facts: I really dug this scene. I suppose you could chalk it up to my love of Sonic Youth, or the fact that it reminds me of the dance scene from Band of Outsiders, one of the few Godard movies I actually enjoy. But the fact of the matter is, I just don't know what I like.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014