dir. Don Siegel
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)dir. Philip Kaufman
Mysterious alien pods have landed on earth and transformed 1950s suburban Americans (70s San Franciscans in the first remake of Siegel's film) into mindless drones. Although not detectable at first, it soon becomes obvious that something is slightly different about these folks. The new, improved citizens blissfully go through life without a care in the world. Sure, they have now become completely bereft of their already tenuous individual personalities, but life sure is much easier after succumbing fully to the hive-mind.
Why this might not be so bad: Independent thought is for chumps.
On second thought, maybe it wouldn't be so great: After a while, you'd--[ed. note: at this point, Donald Sutherland walked into the room, pointed at Dave and let out a high pitched shriek.] There would be nothing wrong with this scenario.
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
dir. George Romero
The zombie holocaust, well underway by the time of Dawn of the Dead (Romero's second zombie flick), has left our four heroes stranded in a mall. While walled inside the impenetrable fortress, they have complete access to all of the stores in this suburban paradise. They are free to joyride, rob, and commit general mayhem without fear of being harassed by mall cops.
Why this might not be so bad: Read the description.
On second thought maybe it wouldn't be so great: It's not as easy to fend of roving bands of psychopathic bikers as one might think. Where are those mall cops when you need them?
The Shining (1980)
dir. Stanley Kubrick
Jack Torrance takes a job house-sitting at the Colorado hotel The Overlook for the winter. While at the resort, he has all the time in the world to work on his new novel. And if he ever feels the need, ghosts will provide him with free booze. Incidentally, he probably makes enough scratch here so that he can go the rest of the year without working. More time to write.
Why this might not be so bad: Did you read the description? This place should be called heaven.
On second thought maybe it wouldn't be so great: The whole writer's block/going-crazy,-chasing-your-family-with-an-axe,-killing-Scatman-Crothers,-and-then-freezing-to-death-in-a-hedge-maze thing.
The Thing (1982)
dir. John Carpenter
In John Carpenter's tense remake of The Thing from Another World, an amorphous alien being wreaks havoc on a science crew based in Antarctica. Spreading like a disease, this alien leaves its human hosts virtually unchanged--for a time. It is near impossible to detect who has become infected until it's too late. This unstoppable force eventually decimates the small community here. In the bleak finale, all hope is lost for humanity's survival.
Why this might not be so bad: I really like the cold, so I think Antarctica would be a neat place to spend some time. [See also: the original film.]
On second thought maybe it wouldn't be so great: Read the description.
The Fly (1986)
dir. David Cronenberg
After a transportation portal experiment goes awry, scientist Seth Brundle's DNA becomes fused with that of a fly, empowering him with numerous superhuman powers.
Why this might not be so bad: Among Brundle-fly's many powers is the ability to fuck like a beast.
On second thought maybe it wouldn't be so great: It's been a while since I've seen this movie and I don't remember what happens in the last third of the picture. I'm assuming there are no drawbacks here.
1 comment:
Dave. I think you might be a genius.
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